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| I knew a girl a few years back. She seldom spoke; but when your native tongue is foreign in the place one calls home, I suppose silence is more comfortable. Jagged bangs framed her delicate features, as she tried to shed every facet of her former self. She longed to be Western: Uninhibited, and adorned with gems and her “metals”, she was the image of rebellion. But she was still so delicate. I’m sure her mother begged her to embrace her femininity, if not her culture. But that was not this girl’s way. She just stood silent, watching and learning and becoming more with each passing day. She let herself grow hard; her shell seemingly unbreakable. Until she wrote. The words bled from her fingertips as though they longed to expose the very core of who she was. And I longed to catch those crimson stories and figure out what vein she had to cut, just so I could feel like all the wasted ink mattered for something. Her words were so raw and so honest. When she read them with her thick accent and hushed tone, an unmistakable truth came through, and I envied it. For when she shared her poetry, I understood her to be feminine. When she shared her poetry, I understood her to be from a country so eloquent and serene, that I could never fathom such peace. I met a girl a few years back. She seldom spoke. But, then, she didn’t have to. | | |
| Our breath caught somewhere between Winter's chill and warm sheets. Laying side by side I wrap my arms around your slender hips and kiss those invisible scars on your back. I can still see where your wings once were. And we live in this wonder trapped beneath scattered linens. Sharing so much and failing to see the beauty in living contradiction. Fallen angel of mine, you taught me how to sin.
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| It's my birthday!! And I must admit, it's numerically pleasing. So many twos on one day. Happy feelings!
Cheers everyone!!
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| So I saw this concept on Riis' site, and really quite liked it. Therefore, I've decided to do one of my own. A little bit of catharsis before I celebrate my birthday :)
Each statement is for someone different. Some in real life, some on xanga.
10 Things I Wish I Could Say to...
1) Every time I see you, I feel simultaneously elated and terrified. You mean so much to me and I can't fathom the thought of anything taking you out of my life. So I cherish every moment and say a little prayer that I can be blessed with days filled with your wonder.
2) I wish you had given me the chance...but I think you wish the same.
3) You are an inspiration. I value the friendship we have, but I tread carefully because I know you've heard stories (however unfounded), and I would be a selfish fool to think that you would choose our friendship over one forged years ago. I'm just grateful you took the chance to get to know me, in spite of what you've heard.
4) You are a true gentleman. A rarity and a gem. It's a rare thing to witness someone acknowledge their blessings. By extension, I've learned a lot just reading what you have to say.
5) I want to meet you. I have so many questions for you, it's ridiculous. But then, I doubt it will ever happen. I want to tell you how much life has changed, but I think you already know that. Just smile, though. You have the greatest blessing life could give you. Don't waste it.
6) Thank you for showing me the kind of man I never wanted to be with. I would love to tell you that I'm happy now, and with someone who respects my dreams. Maybe if you hadn't told me I would never make it, I wouldn't have left to prove you wrong.
7) I think you're afraid of being accepted. I'm sorry that you were treated poorly by someone who swore to be there for you, but it's okay to smile. You left for a reason.
8) When I see you come into where I work, I cringe a little, and hope that you don't come into my department to say hi.
9) I don't know if I can ever forgive you for what you did.
10) You're not invited to the wedding. I hope you can respect my decision, because it's not changing.
****
On a completely unrelated note, it's snowing in Langley!
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| Two years ago on December 10th, Corey and I got engaged (happy feelings abound). It's been an interesting two years, no doubt. With car accidents, hospital visits, job hopping and cats running away, Corey and I have had quite the adventure. It's been fantastic.
But the story of how Corey proposed is what really deserves to be told. However, there's a bit of a back story.
About three and a half years ago, in an attempt to get a friend (and her mother) out of a very abusive home, Corey was hurt badly. The father was a 300 pound former boxer and when he came home the night Corey was over for dinner, the man flew off the handle in a drunken rage. Corey jumped in and took the beating instead of his friend or his friend's mother. The fight ended with Corey being thrown through unfinished drywall and down a flight of stairs, dislocating one of his knees and breaking several ribs. In fact the aftermath was so terrible, that the father thought that Corey was actually dead.
Fast forward to two years ago. Corey and I had been together for over a year, and I was very familiar with his lingering injuries. Particularly the broken rib that refused to heal. When it pops out of place, it scratches at his lungs making it hard for him to breathe, let alone stand up straight.
So, December 10th, 2007 and I received a phone call from my Mum regarding my birthday. She invited me and Corey out to Vancouver to have a dinner with my family. "Let's celebrate," he said. "Coffee sound good?" he asked. I agreed that coffee was a good plan, as there is a lovely little shop out in Langley down the old one-way. Moreover, in December, this sleepy part of Langley lights up with Christmas lights and decorations, so I thought it would be great.
Corey's mother came bounding down the stairs with a camera as well. "It's a clear night, and the lights are pretty. Take pictures and go for a walk." Looking back on it, I really should have clued in.
So off we went, and we arrived at McBurney's Coffee Shop about ten minutes later. We walked hand-in-hand into the little shop and up to the front counter where I placed my order. Corey placed his as well, though as I looked at him, I noticed he was holding his left side. His rib was acting up. "We don't have to go for a walk," I told him. He shook his head.
"I'm fine," he said, forcing a smile. I nodded, knowing his stubborn streak. Our drinks were ready quickly, and we grabbed them, making our way outside. However with a sudden whimper, Corey doubled over, clutching his side. It was rare for the rib to act up quite so much, however, it still happened and when it did, it usually meant he would be coughing up blood. So I moved his drink and was immediately at his side. He then sank to his knees, and I couldn't help but hit panic mode.
"What can I do? How can I help?" I asked, rubbing his back, kissing his cheek. He looked down for a moment, and I took a quick step back, hoping I could see another way to help. Then he looked up and pulled out an open ring box.
"Just say yes," he smiled. "Taylor, will you marry me?"
It was genius. I fell for it, and will never forget it. Nor will I forget that I'm engaged to a theater junkie.
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